humble pie

Once again I have neglected this poor blog. I guess I just thought that I had nothing to write about after our adoption fell through. I will be super honest, because that is how I roll, I am still grieving the loss of the daughter that I will never parent. I had so many plans for Z and I. So, so,so many beautiful, wonderful plans. I will air out all of my dirty laundry and let you know that I have a small space in the extra closet that has sweet little size 7 clothes for her. I can picture her in every outfit,what the heck am I doing??? I think I am holding on to a miracle that she is alive and well and is ready and available for adoption. :)

I do have something to write about...my life is a comedy show (amd I LOVE it!).
We have one 5 yr old son who is knocking at deaths door with severe asthma and allergies, his barely younger brother is living a fun life somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. I live day to day with Lupus, which has recently caused me to make some major changes in my life. As far as the Scotty so Hotty, head of house, he is doing great and is the silly string keeping us together.
So there you have it. Our lovely family.

Not Me Monday

certiantly did not public posts that never made it but how was I to know because I never go to my own blog.

I was not last to dropping off my kids late to thier first day of school. Parent of the year award material people!

I did not get food poisioning from beer at an art fair and spend my entire day off laying on a hospital bed praying that Jesus would just bring me home. That morphine does some funny things.

I did not try ang get my very straight laced brother in law so drunk that he would vomit. I mean who would do that??? That's soooo mean!

Start of Summer

So far things are staring off slow around here, which is good! We will be getting a call any day letting us know when we will be taking Jack to a children hospital in Denver for specialized testing for his allergies and asthma. We will be there for at lest one week, maybe two. As soon as we get the call we have about a 7-10 days to get there. Of course we are excited to get to the bottom of all of his challenges but... my dearest childhood friend moved back into town a couple years ago and is now prego with her 3rd and final baby and I just know that I am going to miss it. To say that I am heartbroken about it would be an understatement.
As far as things are going with Alex we are still on wait list after wait list. Who knows when we will actually get into anywhere!
For now we will enjoy the cool weather and fun time we are having together!

What to do???

I am not getting ANYWHERE with early intervention! We went through the public school system and they would not accept him even with a diagnosis from a Pediatric Psychologist and I cannot get any of the Autism preschool centers to call me back. What on earth is a mom to do?? I am so worried that he is going to slip through the cracks during the summer. Does anyone have a home school program that they have supplemented with? I just don't want to miss this early time!

Alex+ Shorty= Happy times!

Xander lite up like a Christmas tree when when introduced him to Shorty! He started talking, making eye contact, listening, and acting confident. It was what I like to call an Autistic Miracle!!! He really does bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Because he loves riding so much we are going to enter him into a lead line class at a local show in a couple of weeks. I only worry that the sights and sounds of the horse show will be too much for him once we get there. Too get him ready we have been watching youtube videos. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is something that he gets into!!!

Spring is here, kinda

It snowed here today!!! Where the heck is spring?? So, much has been happening around the Wiliams mini farm. I type this from my bed ridden, royal wedding watching, narcotic state.
Monday I had a much unexpected but much needed hysterectomy. I have always known that I have problems with my uterus and ovaries so I guess it was just my time to get them out. Needless to say I am still in a bit of pain but am doing better than I expected. The worst part is not being able to pick up the boys. I miss tossing them around and playing outside with them!
We are still waiting to hear the results of Jacks allergy testing. We do know that he is super allergic to many foods and environmental items but we still are not clear what is causing him to go into anaphylaxis so often. i get so nervous taking him anywhere new because I don't know what is going to set him off.
Alexis is on a new medication that is making him so tired. The big question is it working?? We think so, but we are not sure. Autism is such a funny thing and we are still so early in his diagnosis. What we do know is early intervention works and it is apparently hard to get your foot in the door even with a diagnosis and insurance. What do people even do??? Where do we begin?? My heart breaks for all of the families that are in a similar situation because it is very frustrating!

Look what the bunny left