fun times ahead

Wowza!! Where has this month gone? I cannot believe that it is almost Christmas. For some reason, I am way more excited this year then any other year. I have broke out some of the decorations, blasted Neil Diamond Christmas music and Scott even put up some of the lights without me begging. The boys are at the age where they are starting to "get it" and I LOVE it. I think the best part is that Jack realizes that the season is not about gifts but about Christ. We are trying to emphasized gifts for his birthday and Jesus for Christmas.
As far as the adoption process goes, we are still chugging along. The only thing keeping me going is hearing the good news of referrals of our friends. It seems like everyone is getting multiples. Hmmm, I wonder if two kiddos are in our future too?!?

Operation Pink Shoe

I am so thankful for the change in seasons. With it has brought big changes in our family. I had no idea ( this would be a whole other post ) but I was surprised to find out that we have been on the infant adoption list for 6 months. So,I guess operation pink shoe is in full swing. I really had no idea that our home study had been completed and turned in. With this new knowledge has brought fear, panic, and excitement. I am mainly scared about the fiances. We really do not have an additional 15 (ish) grand laying around. If we got the call tomorrow, we would have to decline the referral.
I guess God , really did have a plan when I keep getting extra hours at work, any extra shift money has gone into the adoption fund. How do some of you adopt multiple kids?? Is everyone using grants and loans?
On another note, I was planning a mission trip to Africa that just may need to come to a halt or at least be postponed for now. Hmm... what to do. What to do?
If anyone has any fundraising ideas let me know!

Love

I love these people, love them with all of my heart. You know who you guys are and please know that you mean the world to me. I know I have been distant lately and I appreciate your support for afar. I am blessed to know each and every single one of you!!

a giant step taken back

Sorry, it has been so long but there has been a ton of craziness surrounding our family. Also, let be honest here. I just couldn't bring myself to blog. I couldn't bring myself to even read blogs. I was just over it all.
As most of you know we have lost the referral of our daughter and we are still heartbroken. I had no idea how hard it would be to grieve for someone you never got to meet. I also lost a dear friend of mine a couple weeks ago and I have been struggling with grief. A grief so bad that sometimes it felt like it was swallowing me whole. I am not sure if time really does heal wounds but I sure hope so.

On a positive note I have been making some major positive changes in my life and I am very much looking forward to the future. Our family is great and Scott has been amazing during this crazy year.

Jackson has started preschool and is doing amazing! Alexander is surpassing where the therapists said he would be now. He amazes me everyday with the things he learns.

Scott and I are still working a ton but leaving room to spend quality time with our family and sneaking some alone time with eachother. Life is good!!

adoption update

How things are changing around here. Due to many heart breaks regarding Africa we are no longer doing an international adoption, we have switched to domestic and are waiting until the end of summer to be put on any offical waitlists. Our plan is to save as much money as humaly possible and go from there. We are still heartbroken about the loss of Zehabu but are taking it day by day.

Zehabu

This has been a very long over due post. I didn't even know what to write as I couldn't/can't wrap my head around the situation. I also am heartbroken and every time I sit down to type I cannot stop crying.
2 weeks ago we found out that Zehabu will not be joining our family as she is no longer available for adoption. I am not sure exactly what happened to her but I have a pretty good idea and I am not ready to share this tragedy with the world. It hurts so much to breathe, think, cry... I have never experienced anything like this before. I am morning for the daughter who I never got to hold, never hear giggle, never will kiss. I don't even know if she ever knew how close she was to her forever family, so very close. It amazes me how much I could love someone who I never even met, but to us, she was/is our daughter.
We have only told a handful of people and I am sorry that we didn't get a chance to everyone personally but at this point it still hurts too much to talk about it.

adoption update

Our home study is done, waiting for our fingerprints and have completed 10 hours of training. The only thing left to do is wait fr Zs documents and start raising funds. It has been amazing to be a part of such a wonderful experience. People are coming out of the woodwork to help us and we completely appreciate it! We feel so blessed for every last prayer, penny and piece of advice people give us regarding this adoption.

No news is???

We are still waiting on the adoption agency to send up documents on Z. There are elections going on in Ethiopia near where she is so there is no internet, telephone or in some cases power in that area. For us that means that we are at a standstill and it is kind of a strange place to be in. There is NOTHING that we can do to speed up the process. All we can do it sit back relax (ha) and pray. The good thing about this wait, is that it gives us a chance to raise more much needed funds. The double travel to Ethiopia has added a huge expense to this trip. The good news is that we finished our homestudy!! Woot woot.
I had a wonderful mothers day and hope that you all did too!

Off and running

We have jumped in with both feet and are on our way with our next adoption adventure. I cannot believe that this is really happening! Sometimes it is just so surreal. Are we really adding another child to our family? We have the official approval from both agencies and our home study (update) is scheduled for this Wednesday. Yikes!! I better get to cleaning!

Remember to breathe

Sometimes the whole process of adoption can be very overwhelming. With domestic adoption it was kind of nice waiting for a baby to be born and never knowing when. Ok, who I am I kidding? It was stressful and nerve wrecking but in the end we got Jack, a perfect newborn. Financially it didn't kill us. This international adoption is killing us. It is official that starting next month you know have to travel twice to Ethiopia for adoptions. This really did add thousands of dollars to our expenses. Honestly, there is NO WAY that we can afford all of this. What are we thinking?? I am kind of starting to panic. Where the heck are we going to get this money? If anyone has any ideas for fundraisers please let me know. Right now, I see everything in $ symbols. We are saving every last penny!! This will all work out right?

dang cat!

Who know that a cat bite could cause sepsis within 24 hours? In 15 years of working with animals this has never happened to me. Yesterday, I was helping spay and neuter feral cats and on the 47th cat, I got nailed. I immediately started antibiotics and cleaned the area really well. Even though the area was swollen, I had no idea of what was about to become. Even after 3 doses of antibiotics at home I have landed myself in the hospital for the weekend. So far they have pumped 5 bags on antibiotics, many pain pills and injections into my stomach and I still feel like crapo. I cannot sleep because I keep turning in the light to see if the infection is going down as I want to get home so bad! There is so much going on the weekend. 2 birthday parties, a cool zoo event and best of all a whole weekend off of work. I was really looking forward to spending the weekend with my family and friends. Please pray for me as I struggle with this infection, so far it has taken over my body and it attacking some of my internal organs.
Nighty night bloggerville, I need to try and rest up.

IT IS ON!

Wowza! It sure has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. As it stands the Summer Of Hope program will NOT be bringing kiddos from Ethiopia this year. We were heartbroken when we heard the news and did not know what to do next. We really felt in our heart that this was the child for us.
After much searching, praying, talking, an international adoption agency has agreed to let us adopt her!! The whole thing is really backwards, as far as traditional adoption goes, but we and the agency are going to make it work for us. Wahoo!! The agency that we are using has gotten some bad press lately but I will say they have been GREAT with our family. So as it stands we will hopefully be adding a 7ish year old beautiful Ethiopian girl to our family very soon!!

On again, off again, on again, maybe

One of the many parts of adoption is being flexible, and this is exactly what we are trying to do.
We recently found out that the visas that are being issued to the children in Ethiopia are taking a very long time and may not be issued in time for the children to be able to come in July. 2 days ago, I thought that there was no may the kiddos were going to be able to come but last night I found out that things are looking better. I wish that I could post a picture of the sweet faces who are waiting for forever homes but I cannot. Please pray, send good thoughts, anything, our way. We are desperate.

We did it!

Our application is in, some paperwork signed. Need a notary on one. Now playing the waiting game!! It was so hard going through the binder of available children and trying to pick the one that will hopefully be perfect for our family. We know that it is not in our hands any longer and we are at peace with that. What I can tell you is that the 3 girls we picked were all 7 years old and gorgeous. Regardless of who we are matched with we will hopefully be spending all of July with a beautiful little girl from Ethiopia.

Just pictures

2 days and 2 hours

Wahoo!! Just got word that the portfolios that have available children for the Summer Of Hope program will be available on Wednesday!! Wahoo!! I can't wait to be able to look at all of those precious faces of the children who will be coming to Idaho for the summer. Squeee!!! One step closer to another girl in this house. Happy dance.

Hard time

I know that it is only the beginning but we/I have had 4 people tell us how awful we are to take in an older child into our home. Keep in mind that only one of these people have already done it and it went horribly bad. No my family story so I will not share in on my blog.
I have already been defending international adoption for some time but it is so much more personal to me now. This is NOT a spur of the moment decision, we have been talking about this for awhile now. If you really want to know the details, years have been spent going over this. I get it. I really do. But when out find out someone is pregnant do you immediately tell them stories about how awful infants are, how they will ruin your life, how this is the worst thing that can ever happen?!?
On a better note. Our dear friends found out that they will be adopting baby #2 any day now!! We cannot wait to meet the new little guy!!

Wahoo!!

This is where we want our next family member from!!

pictures...

anyone else having problems uploading pictures to blogger??

Our news!

We have decided to help with a local program called the Summer Of Hope. During the month of July school age orphans from 3 countries with come to Idaho in hopes to find their forever home. We are praying that the child that we are matched with is a good fit for our family because we would love to add a girl to the mix! So far we have only gotten through the first application process, but i got an email today that our family is hopefully a go!! Wahoo.
Hopefully we will get to see profiles of the children very soon so we can start getting ready. The only things that we have asked for is a child that is a girl and is 8 or under from Ethiopia.
Nuts, I know...
So there you have it. Our big news :)

I lied

Due to lack of sleep I will post full details tomorrow, I promise. Today has been nutty and I have not had 5 seconds to myself. It was a beautiful day outside so I spent a ton of tie doing yard work with the boys. Nighty night bloggerville.

Tonight

Ok, I promise after our big meeting tonight I will share with the world what is going on!! Actually, I am so excited about tonight that I got up 2 hours early this morning. Yucko!!

A Hint...

Baby Izzy

Really, I want to eat her...

Way too long

I am a blogger slacker pants... again. Truth be told, I started a new blog but then ditched it. I wanted a secret place to be honest and open. Blogging is strange, I have had multiple encounters with strangers in public that know me only from blogging.
Big new, I am an Auntie. Allison and Tommy welcomed Izzy to the world 2-10-10. What a great birth date.
More big news to follow regarding our family. Stay tuned Bloggerville peeps. Its good, I promise.