Operation Pink Shoe

I am so thankful for the change in seasons. With it has brought big changes in our family. I had no idea ( this would be a whole other post ) but I was surprised to find out that we have been on the infant adoption list for 6 months. So,I guess operation pink shoe is in full swing. I really had no idea that our home study had been completed and turned in. With this new knowledge has brought fear, panic, and excitement. I am mainly scared about the fiances. We really do not have an additional 15 (ish) grand laying around. If we got the call tomorrow, we would have to decline the referral.
I guess God , really did have a plan when I keep getting extra hours at work, any extra shift money has gone into the adoption fund. How do some of you adopt multiple kids?? Is everyone using grants and loans?
On another note, I was planning a mission trip to Africa that just may need to come to a halt or at least be postponed for now. Hmm... what to do. What to do?
If anyone has any fundraising ideas let me know!

a giant step taken back

Sorry, it has been so long but there has been a ton of craziness surrounding our family. Also, let be honest here. I just couldn't bring myself to blog. I couldn't bring myself to even read blogs. I was just over it all.
As most of you know we have lost the referral of our daughter and we are still heartbroken. I had no idea how hard it would be to grieve for someone you never got to meet. I also lost a dear friend of mine a couple weeks ago and I have been struggling with grief. A grief so bad that sometimes it felt like it was swallowing me whole. I am not sure if time really does heal wounds but I sure hope so.

On a positive note I have been making some major positive changes in my life and I am very much looking forward to the future. Our family is great and Scott has been amazing during this crazy year.

Jackson has started preschool and is doing amazing! Alexander is surpassing where the therapists said he would be now. He amazes me everyday with the things he learns.

Scott and I are still working a ton but leaving room to spend quality time with our family and sneaking some alone time with eachother. Life is good!!

adoption update

How things are changing around here. Due to many heart breaks regarding Africa we are no longer doing an international adoption, we have switched to domestic and are waiting until the end of summer to be put on any offical waitlists. Our plan is to save as much money as humaly possible and go from there. We are still heartbroken about the loss of Zehabu but are taking it day by day.

Zehabu

This has been a very long over due post. I didn't even know what to write as I couldn't/can't wrap my head around the situation. I also am heartbroken and every time I sit down to type I cannot stop crying.
2 weeks ago we found out that Zehabu will not be joining our family as she is no longer available for adoption. I am not sure exactly what happened to her but I have a pretty good idea and I am not ready to share this tragedy with the world. It hurts so much to breathe, think, cry... I have never experienced anything like this before. I am morning for the daughter who I never got to hold, never hear giggle, never will kiss. I don't even know if she ever knew how close she was to her forever family, so very close. It amazes me how much I could love someone who I never even met, but to us, she was/is our daughter.
We have only told a handful of people and I am sorry that we didn't get a chance to everyone personally but at this point it still hurts too much to talk about it.

adoption update

Our home study is done, waiting for our fingerprints and have completed 10 hours of training. The only thing left to do is wait fr Zs documents and start raising funds. It has been amazing to be a part of such a wonderful experience. People are coming out of the woodwork to help us and we completely appreciate it! We feel so blessed for every last prayer, penny and piece of advice people give us regarding this adoption.

IT IS ON!

Wowza! It sure has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. As it stands the Summer Of Hope program will NOT be bringing kiddos from Ethiopia this year. We were heartbroken when we heard the news and did not know what to do next. We really felt in our heart that this was the child for us.
After much searching, praying, talking, an international adoption agency has agreed to let us adopt her!! The whole thing is really backwards, as far as traditional adoption goes, but we and the agency are going to make it work for us. Wahoo!! The agency that we are using has gotten some bad press lately but I will say they have been GREAT with our family. So as it stands we will hopefully be adding a 7ish year old beautiful Ethiopian girl to our family very soon!!

Hard time

I know that it is only the beginning but we/I have had 4 people tell us how awful we are to take in an older child into our home. Keep in mind that only one of these people have already done it and it went horribly bad. No my family story so I will not share in on my blog.
I have already been defending international adoption for some time but it is so much more personal to me now. This is NOT a spur of the moment decision, we have been talking about this for awhile now. If you really want to know the details, years have been spent going over this. I get it. I really do. But when out find out someone is pregnant do you immediately tell them stories about how awful infants are, how they will ruin your life, how this is the worst thing that can ever happen?!?
On a better note. Our dear friends found out that they will be adopting baby #2 any day now!! We cannot wait to meet the new little guy!!

Our news!

We have decided to help with a local program called the Summer Of Hope. During the month of July school age orphans from 3 countries with come to Idaho in hopes to find their forever home. We are praying that the child that we are matched with is a good fit for our family because we would love to add a girl to the mix! So far we have only gotten through the first application process, but i got an email today that our family is hopefully a go!! Wahoo.
Hopefully we will get to see profiles of the children very soon so we can start getting ready. The only things that we have asked for is a child that is a girl and is 8 or under from Ethiopia.
Nuts, I know...
So there you have it. Our big news :)

20 something craziness

Bye bye 20’s, hello 30’s. This is my last week of being a 20 something and it is kind of getting to me. I mean 30 is an ADULT. When did I become an adult? College? Nope! Living on my own? Nope. Getting married to Scotty so hotty? Nope. Buying a house, having kids, owing my own business?? Nope, nope nope… I think that 30 is the magical adult number and I will wake up on Saturday, put on my Spanx and high waist mom jeans, socks with open toed sandals and start my first official day as an adult. Hmmm, where does one get high waist pants??
I watched a show about adoption this morning and it made me cry. What you don’t know Bloggerville peeps is that I am not a crier. (During the movie Titanic I actually giggled) I sometimes forget that our adoption is not the normal situation and there are so many birth families out there that have no idea how their baby is doing. I cried because it hit me again of how blessed we are to have such a perfect adoption story. To so many the term “open adoption” is accompanied with fear and apprehension. I wish that I could talk to everyone of those families and tell them our story; it truly is a beautiful story. We have so much more than an open adoption, we have extended family. Ashley is such an amazing part of our lives and I am so thankful to have her around on so many levels. I hope that she knows that Jack was the most amazing gift and we are so proud that she allowed us to become his parents. She could have chosen anyone in the world and she picked us! How did we ever get so lucky?? Hopefully we will raise him to be a man that she too can be proud of. I love that we can share our love with her and her family! If any of you have questions about if adoption please feel free to ask us. There are not a lot of families with our situation and we could help in anyway we would love to!
Peace out Bloggerville, I am off to Google my new wardrobe. I mean I really want to look the part of a 30 year old! Alison you are so next!!!